One Mouth

Steamed

2006-02-17T12:06:00.000-08:00

Inorder to establish satisfication among all readers I have decided to succumb to the requests made by one Comrade Steam. I hope that this blog entry will stimulate the senses of our lonely patron and that he might find an inner will to liberate his weary thoughts and join us in dialogue again. Essentially, this posting was inspired by an old friend from High School, who may or may not have kissed a girl half his age at Teen Camp... ... who may or may not have had a crush on a young girl named Debra... ... you all know who I'm talking about. Here's to you Hii Man and your crazy ways. I love you like a brother.
"The key to cleaner and cheaper energy may be simply finding a better way to boil water. Researchers at a small Sacramento, Calif., company and a Department of Energy research laboratory believe they have found it in a radical new type of steam-production system called ZEST, or "zero emissions steam technology."
If you think steam left town on the last coal-burning train, you are in for a shock. Steam-generated electricity is the backbone of civilization. In the United States, more than 88 percent of all electricity is produced by steam turbines, according to the National Energy Information Center. Most non-nuclear steam plants are fired by fossil fuels, that is, coal, oil and natural gas. What all of these fuels have in common is that they contain carbon. During combustion, carbon in these fuels combines with oxygen in the air to produce carbon dioxide (CO2), the gas that plants love but environmentalists love to hate. And with good reason. Carbon dioxide appears transparent, but it blocks the passage of infrared-frequency energy. This, in turn, creates the well-known greenhouse effect, linked to global warming.
I salut you Steam-Boy

Appreciation of Color Recognition

2006-02-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

Today I really appreciate my ability to differentiate colors. Did you know that 12-20 percent of the white male population suffer from Red-Green colorblindness? At first thought this is nothing more than a minor bump in the road of life... but, it is so much more. Take a minute to consider possible situations inwhich you rely on your ability to differentiate red and green. Come on... really think about it... ... ... ... Now picture yourself driving along, there's some nice trees to your right, some children fraulicking on a playground on your left. There's an intersection up ahead with a green light... ... ... ... ... then you're side-swiped by a semi... no, you're not Jason Brown... you're color-blind. Okay, that's just one of many situations. Picture yourself jogging through a forest. As you move away from the parkinglot, people are waving at you and you think to yourself, "what a nice day, this is truely a perfect day for a jog". It's really warm so you take off your shirt. A flock of birds fly over you, then a raging inferno overtakes you burning you instantly. Again, this is not Armagedon... ... ... you're colorblind. You couldn't differentiate between the trees of the forrest and the flames of the forest fire... too bad. Finally, one more example. Imagine that you're a waste disposal attendant and you are removing trimmed branches from an elderly ladies backyard. You finish up your work and begin to drive away. Then you notice in your rear-view mirror, the elderly lady running after the truck. You are so distracted by the old lady that you don't notice the golden-retriever puppy (cute as can be) run infront of the truck. You hit the pup. Startled by the mild jolt you stop your vehicle and get out to see what the old lady wants. It turns out that you threw out her Christmas tree... but it was an accident because you couldn't differentiate between the color of the tree and the color of the red ornaments. The owner of the puppy files a law suit for 10 million dollars against you and wins... ... why? Who's fault is it? Not yours... you're just color-blind. I salut you individuals suffering from colorblindness.

Back in Black

2006-01-20T12:10:00.001-08:00

I know that I have promised my comeback time and time again... but this time it is the real deal. Just to refresh everyone, this is a place where we ponder the deep mysteries of life and find ourselves in the midst of new thought and invention. Everyone is free to comment. If you don't like what someone has said... speak up. Remember, you choose to visit this site.

Just so that I can survey the current users... allow me to pose this question...
Do you think Jonathan Hii should run for President???

I'm pretty sure there is a scandal involving washroom hand dryers. No hand dryer (other than the dryer in the men's washroom at the upper end of the Horshoe Bay parkinglot) fully dries one's hands. After washing, one is forced to stand for at least thirty seconds to have their hands dried. It could be a conspiracy (I'm just saying). Maybe the government is using washroom hand dryers to collect personal information... possibly DNA. If not this cultural frustration is a financial landmine. Imagine mini televisions installed into every washroom hand dryer across this fair country of ours. The mini televisions would play advertisments and could be motion sensitive (to save energy). In fact, we could use the motion sensor that comes standard in most hand dryers thus saving us more money.
I've taken a poll of washroom hand dryers in Vernon and found that we could fit a 10 inch LCD screen on most standard western hand dryers. I am yet to research the European market, but I am pretty sure they face the same struggles. Interesting enough, my Asian counterpart (Michael Chou) spoke with me last week about similar struggles in the Eastern world.
This is a big finding and a great idea. I am sure that advertising agencies would put out big coin for this concept. It reaches out to all people because everyone needs to use the washroom at some point in their day. And most people wash their hands... not everyone takes the Captain Steam approach. That's sick.

Back in Black

2006-01-20T12:10:00.000-08:00

Sorry 2004

2005-08-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and family... My apologies for my absence. Unfortunately, I returned to find people hating on the blog. I am sorry for any offence taken. I try to protect freedom of speech by maintaining an open comment policy, however I will have to remove several comments from the most recent blog. I do not control what people comment nor do I know who the people are. For the most part it has all been funny stuff. cheers.
PS expect a blog in the next week.

Another Ancient Mystery Solved

2005-05-16T15:30:00.000-07:00

Once again I have channelled my innovative thinking and produced an idea that will redefine how we go about life.
The problem of body odour is ancient. Throughout history man has struggled to uncover the mysteries of deodorant application. During this time several application concepts have emerged. Since the dawn of written history, approximately 5,500 years ago, almost every major civilization has left a documented account of their struggle to deal with the problem at hand. The early Egyptians' solution was an application of perfumed oils to the underarm following a scented bath. Through much experimentation they discovered that the removal of hair resulted in diminshed body odour. (Centuries later scientists found that hair increases the surface area on which bacteria live. While the bacteria is odourless itself, it quickly dies and decomposes in a smelly fashion.) The Woomak'i tribe of central Honduras found that burning an individual's armpit with hot coals resulted in less body odour. When a Woomak'i child reached the age of thirteen they would celebrate their birthday by placing burning coals in their armpits for several hours. Several civilzations believed the source of body odour to be the result of spiritual infestations. The Huite tribe, who inhabited the island now known as Malaysia, believed the Gyro spirit to be the source of body odour. An individual who was believed to be possessed by the Gyro spirit (who manifested in the male genitalia) was exorcised through the removal of the genitals.
I believe that the most appropriate means of dealing with the ancient problem of body odour is using state of the art vibration technology. By applying a motor to a stick of deodorant the vibrations will cause the hair follicles to raise to the outtermost epidermal layer. This will then allow for a more complete application of deodorant leaving minimal surface area for bacteria growth. Because much deodorant application takes place in the dark (i.e. early in the morning, or late at night just before a hot date) it may also be useful to apply glow-in-the-dark technology to deodorant sticks. It is a great disappointment to this writter that our western civilization has not utilized our knowledge of glow-in-the-dark technology. Perhaps future civilizations will look back and question the great mysteries of our ability to capture the power of glow-in-the-dark.

Just for reference, here is an excellent formula for creating your own home-made deodorant:

1/2 cup baking soda
1/2 cup cornstarch
a few drops of essential oils such as lavender or cinnamon
Place the ingredients in a glass jar
Shake to blend
Sprinkle a light covering of the powder on a damp washcloth
Pat on. Don’t rinse.

Living In Community

2005-05-09T13:45:00.000-07:00

Again, I would like to call attention to the great amount of controversy that has been sparked by past blogs addressing the glow-in-the-dark idea. Several characters have emerged through this commenting process. Faggity Joe has a short history with Onemouth. He/she seems to have a fascination with arousing another character, Hii Man, a gender-confused individual who is entertained by the simple aspects of life including making homo-erotic poses on public beaches. Another character that has emerged is Captain Steam. Possibly intrigued by a former reference to the power of steam, Captain Steam has been sharing his extensive knowledge of steam with the curious public for several blogs. Soulja has pledged allegiance to one Mike Letendre several times but may also be a follower of Captain steam. It is my suspicion that Captain Steam is the leader of several steam cults that are quickly taking the blogging world by storm. I must warn all individuals to proceed with caution when addressing Captain Steam or any of his followers. Captain Steam seems to be a short-tempered individual and may have links to one of several radical steam organizations funded by Sabo Inc..
Though not as frequent as the previous comment characters, several other individuals have emerged in the Onemouth community. Michael Touzeau is an individual who has demonstrated a profound knowledge of glow-in-the-dark agents. Morin is a philosopher who specializes in the origins of glow-in-the-dark thinking. David Courtney is a robust individual who takes pleasure in verbal harassment. Mike Letendre is a gregarious/assertive individual who has practiced his freedom of speech and expressed his artistic use of language.

Recommended Book of the Day:

Power from Steam : A History of the Stationary Steam Engine by Richard L. Hills.

Glow-in-the-Dark Food: Still the Greatest Idea Ever

2005-04-21T10:15:00.000-07:00

It seems as though my "Greatest Idea" blog has generated a fair amount of debate and controversy. Especially from one particular individual who irrately denied the possibility of glow-in-the-dark popcorn and maintained that the power of glow-in-the-dark (slightly less efficient then the power of steam, which is used for a variety of tasks including cooking) could not be harnessed into an edible food form due to it's contaminate nature. This individual falsely claimed that the only two means of producing glow-in-the-dark products are through the use of the commercial phosphors Zinc Sulfide and Strontium Aluminate. Well, Mr. Negative you failed to recognize that glow-in-the-dark occurs in nature... BIOLOGICALLY! For instance, fireflies and jellyfish glow in the dark!

Did you know...
Fireflies belong to the order of insects called the Coleoptera. About one third of all insects known today belong to this group. Fireflies are further classified into the family Lampyridae. There are over 2000 species of fireflies, worldwide.

I believe this individual to be the same individual to point out, and mock, the fact that I spelt soldier wrong in one of my previous blogs. For your information "buddy", I looked up the word "soldieur" on google and over 50 sites were found. It seems as though a few french people spell soldier wrong too! Anyways, I maintain that the power of glow-in-the-dark will soon be harnessed into an edible form making us the most powerful civilization to ever walk the earth.

Do Opposites Attract?

2005-04-19T22:53:00.000-07:00

Television (or T.V.) has become the prostitute of communication. Unfortunately, I have not had much time to think freely due to exams and I apologize for my lack of blogging. However, I have come up with another excellent idea, but this time it is for television programming. It's something new... something original... something for FOX, but this time it will actually be funny... take that Rupert Murdock. Anyways, the title for this television series is "Do Opposites Attract?" and it will involve individuals from all over the world meeting each other. For example, the world's fattest man meeting the world's oldest man or the world's tallest man meeting Pete Pulice. Anyways, I am finished exams on thursday so expect more frequent blogging. May Grace be with you.

Perhaps the Greatest Idea Ever.

2005-04-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

Every once and a while someone stumbles upon a concept that revolutionizes the way we live our lives... today I am that someone. Sitting in class, I was contemplating my next move for the Sim City game that I am currently engaged in at home when it occurred to me that people like to eat in the dark. We all do it and I think for the most part we would all prefer to eat in the dark. This characteristic is not confined to present-day humans, it has existed throughout history and dates back to the cave man years. Probably the first emergence of this love for eating in the dark (LFEITD) occurred at approximately the same time as the first movie showing. Humans recognized that movies had to run in the dark so they took this opportunity to endulge in eating their favorite foods (popcorn, chocolate bars, soda, hotdogs, nachos, etc.)Realizing how much they enjoyed this behaviour they soon introduced the concept of the "Romantic" or "Candle-lit" dinner. On such occassions they could feast on their favorite dinners in a dim-lit (practically dark) environment. This is where my idea comes in. Glow-in-the-dark Popcorn. Sure the concept of glow-in-the-dark could be applied to any food but I believe that popcorn illustrates a unique food-eating situation. I say this because how often do we eat popcorn in broad day-light? Never! Popcorn is the ultimate in-the-dark food and thus there is much room to profit. But why you ask? Why do people need glow-in-the-dark popcorn? Because it is functional. How many times have we all looked about a dark room asking, "Where is the popcorn"? It can also be used as a safety precaution. Think about all the people who have slipped on spilt popcorn in a dark movie theater. Hey... no more lawsuits. God Bless.

Free Speech

2005-04-07T17:54:00.000-07:00

I have changed my settings so that anyone can now comment.

Back to Business... Oh Covenant, where art thou?

2005-04-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

It has been sometime since my last blog (Tribute to Kevin Oswald Bacon) and for that I am sorry. Anyways, it is time to start from where we left off... lets get contraversial... Salvation Army style. I must say, I for one am not a big fan of the means by which the Soldieur's Covenant is attained in the Salvation Army. The Soldieur's Covenant is a covenant (I believe with God, but it may be with the Salvation Army) that entails a particular lifestyle. This lifestyle pertains to a variety of behaviours including abstinance from alcohol, which traditionally is not prohibited by the church, nor by the Bible. Unfortunately, it is this issue that seems to be the source of most controversy surrounding the Soldieur's Covenant. However, drinking is not the issue I wish to address at this time.
My primary concern, as previously stated, is the means by which the Soldieur's Convenant is attained. Specifically, I believe that there should be an age restriction on the covenant, as well as a mandatory period of living in the covenant before making it. This is on the assumption that not everone is directly called to make the Soldieur's Covenant and that some people do it as an independent sacrifice to God (both means are equally justifiable). From both perspectives, it is important for individual's to experience what they are committing to God opposed to just reading it. This is not to say that we should do what works best for us. Instead, I believe we need to understand what we are committing to God. If it is difficult for an individual to keep the covenant during the initial year of living in the covenant it does not mean that they should not make it, however it does mean that they now understand what they are committing to God. A covenant is not something we say or do, it is something we live. We are told to uphold our covenants and stay true to them... no exceptions. In addition, I believe that it is the church's responsibility to keep from manipulating an individual's decision regarding a covenant. For the Salvation Army this means allowing individual's who have not signed the Soldieur's Covenant to participate in all aspects of the church (the one exception being leadership). Unfortunately, at this point in history this is not the case. Individual's are not allowed to particpate in the band or songsters for more than a year without being a Senior Soldieur. For many individuals growing up in the army, band or songster membership is inevitable. As a result, the Soldieur's Covenant is inevitable and, quite frankly, not all individuals who grow up in the army are called to make this convenant.
This is not meant to be an attack on the Salvation Army nor the Soldieur's Covenant. For myself, I am a proud Senior Soldieur and do not regret making the decision. However, I believe that it is important for the Salvation Army to review its procedure and educate potential Senior Soldieurs. I must apologize for any spelling mistakes. I do not have time to review my writing because I have to run off to class. Shouts out to Mike Letendre.

Featured Individual

2005-03-15T12:36:00.000-08:00

Known for his wild antics in the Cariboo Hill Temple parking lot, Kevin Oswald Bacon is an aspiring motion picture stuntsman. Though a mild-mannered car maintenance expert by day, Kevin engages in a wide variety of risk-taking vehicular hijinks by night. One of my first memories of Kevin was in the parking lot of CHT. It was there that a group of guys were cheering on Kevin as he raced around the parkinglot and engaged his car driving talents. After burning a large amount of rubber Kevin got out of the car to view his piece of work. As soon as he had left his car, Cam jumped into the drivers seat and began to drive away. In a wild moment of passion and courage Kevin flung himself onto the back of the car and proceeded to hold on by the tip of his fingers as the car drove violently through the parkinglot. Unfortunately, one fateful corner hurled Kevin from his position on the trunk of his car. Kevin rolled for several meters and then lay motionless. We all thought it was over. However, Kevin slowly crawled to his feet, limped around for a moment and then was back to his wild antics. I would like to encourage you to share your memories of Kevin on the message board. Here's to you KEV!

Ken Touzeau Quote of the Day:

2005-03-14T17:11:00.000-08:00

"K... Drive carefully... Don't be too late."

For Mike: Congrats to Schmidt

2005-03-14T17:01:00.000-08:00

Heinrich Schmidt, the Bandmaster of the German Staff Band, has received the highest Order of recognition for a German citizen: The Cross of Merit (kinda like my Mom's maiden name... but spelt differently). This order, from the President of Germany, is not only an appreciation for his work as a Bandmaster of the Staff Band, but also an expression of appreciation for Salvation Army music.

Heinrich is the Secretary of Music on a voluntary basis and has been running the Music Camp in Plon for many years. This music school is unique because it enables whole families, regardless of age and talent to participate. This school takes place every year and is an important way of developing brass band and choral music, as well as Christian fellowship and the deepening of our faith. In corps Solingen he is the bandmaster and a respected local officer.

Many in Canada will remember with fondness that Heinrich was the special gust conductor at the Territorial School of Music and Gospel arts in 2002, along with Bandmaster Howard Evans of the Netherlands Territory.

Question of the Day

2005-03-12T14:12:00.000-08:00

Do you hate Mike Letendre?

Mario Cart and the Challenges of Life

2005-03-12T13:59:00.000-08:00

Has anyone ever noticed that Peter Pulice sucks at Mario Cart? Last night he did not record a single first place finish. He only finished in second place once. Take that Eugene Chin!

Today's Little Known Fact about Mario Cart:

The Red Shell, or better known as R.S., is an item that can be used to attack the player directly infront of you. If there is an obstruction between the preceeding player and yourself the R.S. will hit it and then become void. However, for players ranked sixth or worse the R.S. takes on the characteristics of a Shark Bomb and can navigate through the course with relative ease.

Today's Question

2005-03-11T12:02:00.000-08:00

If you had previously travelled to an island where you were hunted by dinosaurs would you return three years later to see if you could tame them?

What the Heck...

2005-03-11T11:00:00.000-08:00

I decided I would not start blogging until something made me really mad... and well... it has happened. Preceeding last weekend I was an avid listener of Adventures in Odessey. This radio program has provided hundreds of hours of entertainment for myself and others (I understand its fan-base sits in the million range). It has helped me deal with many of life's dilemmas and has engaged my intellect with mind-expanding questions. Unfortunately, as of last Saturday this relationship became infected by the perverse world of deception. For years I enjoyed the hillarious and intelligent commentary of Professor Wick. I often found myself looking to Wick for relief from the scrutinizing cycle of contemprary attention we call "life". Unfortuanately, on Saturday I was informed by a companion (who shall remain annonymous) that the actor playing Professor Wick had long since passed away and that a new actor had taken his place. This had all occurred without a general notice to the public. Do the producers believe that they can pass off some slap-jawed-yocal as Professor Wick. We the listeners look past the voice and seek to understand the individual. What is more is that this program has slipped into a simple dialect that seems to support Plato's general public opposed to his Philosopher King... it is not even worthy of guardian speak. Shame on you Mr. Producer. I would also like to note that if Michael Chou is reading this posting I regret to inform you that your highly unintelligent dog has passed away. I send my condolance.